10 Baffling Facebook Types

Sure, it is your place to own but there are some status updates which frankly speaking – I can never ever understand (and probably never will). So here it goes, my list of 10 Most Baffling Facebook Types, in the order of least to most baffling (as you read, take a stab at guessing what is my #1):

#10 – The #Hashtagger

SPOT THEM : Every status closes with 5 or more hashtags!

Some do it well. Some just do not understand the concept of it. So what are hashtags? They are designed to connect to like-minded people. In other words, you want someone to simply filter hashtags and find all things relevant to a specific hashtag. A good litmus test of a hashtag would be (a) you filtering that hashtag and (b) seeing how many relevant posts’ appear. If you are the only one within that hashtag post, or there are only 5 people posting there (after a long duration of time…like 2 weeks probably!) then your hashtags are simply…word extensions with a #pound# symbol upfront. In other words, it doesn’t connect. Nor does it bring major value add to your posting. It is just a #wasteofspace, #getit?!

#9 – The Sharer

SPOT THEM : Shares videos, articles etc. post MULTIPLE times a day WITHOUT comments

Sharing is caring – agree. In fact, often times, I appreciate posts’ by my sharer friends. Yet at the same time, I believe social media should be a platform to not only educate, but to also engage. In this instance, the educate part is there, but the engage part is completely missing. What is your point of view on what you just shared? And when someone responds, are you there to even strike a conversation? Did you like what you shared or are you opposed to it? Honestly, any machine can automate the sharing of posts’ but sometimes, it is nice to know that my dear friend is BEHIND those posts’ and that my dear friend is ALIVE.

#8 – The Samaritan

SPOT THEM : Does something noble – shares it with the whole world

I bet you are thinking – wait a minute – what is so wrong with that? Doing good is contagious, so why not share it with the world? To me, there is a fine line between doing good because of you having an inherently pure heart vs. doing good because you want the acknowledgement. These Facebook types in my opinion are the latter. Plenty of people have done good noble stuff, heck – doctors save lives every single day. YOU have done something noble, I have done something noble. Oddly enough, I never felt compelled to announce to the world what noble thing I have done. At the end of the day, it isn’t about what I do in public that matters, it is what I do behind CLOSED doors that count. It will mean FAR MORE if someone ELSE posted about the great person I am. It will mean FAR FAR MORE if that someone ELSE knows what I do when NO ONE is looking.

#7 – The Hard Worker

SPOT THEM : Snapshot of laptop with caption related to “odd hours”, or “exhaustion”

My first question: “and the purpose of this is too….?” We all know where I am going here. How am I suppose to react? Be fully impressed that you sacrificed a night or two for work? Or that you are working when the whole world is on public holiday or sleeping? Oddly enough, the ones that DO NOT talk about being the hard worker – ARE the hard workers. They have no time to even take a picture, think of a caption and entertain dialogue about how they should rest or take it easy. In fact, exposing their hours of sacrifice is probably the LAST thing on their mind because they cannot afford the distraction of Facebook notifying them of the zillions of likes or comments. And believe me you will, based on quality of work of my direct reports, the one that OPENLY works hard tend to have a LOWER quality of work than the one that doesn’t APPEAR to work at all!

#6 – The Pouter

SPOT THEM : Seriously now, I am pretty sure you can spot this one!

Which celebrity started this trend? She should be arrested for making pretty people ugly. For ever person that pouts, I genuinely find their non-pout pictures more flattering. Ladies out there, Keira Knightley (more known for pouting than acting!) once confessed that she had difficulty going through a movie scene because the director had to constantly remind her to NOT pout. He did it for a reason. A pout is unflattering, the tension is unnatural. (And well, the movie was Pride and Prejudice, so I’m pretty sure the pouting culture did not exist in the 18th century!) Anyway — bottomline is – that tension in your mouth and lips just screams pre-mature wrinkles. So ladies, be conscious of that tension in your jaw area. It is NOT meant to be tense. Relax. Smile. Show a little teeth or two.

#5 – The Keyboard Warrior

SPOT THEM : A timid mouse in person, but with vocal status updates

We all have those in our newsfeed. What amazes me is how empowered the timid person can be behind a screen. The person sounds confident, opinionated, firm, with a point of view, with character. Basically, someone who sounds like an interesting person to talk to – so much personality to show! They sound like someone who can navigate the crowd and own conversations. So, I approached this “interesting” warrior during a gathering once…intent on extending my online discourse about national issues. I was met with *crickets in the background* SILENCE, and little to no engagement. The person sat in the corner majority of the night, participated minimally in group conversations. Yet, believe me you will – by the end of the night, our “amazing fun night” was shared for the world on social media. How odd. That is so far from the truth. We hardly spoke.

#4 – The Hater

SPOT THEM : Regularly rants of transgressions from “the other person” 

Getting into arguments with someone and having conflicts with another person is NORMAL. It is expected of life. However, publicly announcing your resentment for “the other person” in a very “coy” way benefits no one, so why do it? At most you gather emphatising thoughts from your friends. At worst, over a million people think you are referring to them. Even worse – if the person you are referring to knows it is THEM. It hurts. It hurts that you portrayed to a million people a negative behaviour of a person. Both of you are a work in progress. In this particular instance, no one walks away a better person. A mature thing to do would have been to address your qualms with that person immediately. If you refuse to address it, then do not even COMPLAIN about it. For that matter, stop complaining about something if you are doing NOTHING to CHANGE it.

#3 – The PD only A

SPOT THEM : Has loving messages directed to 1 person but somehow has it public

People post loving messages all the time, especially on special occasions. It is sweet and a little love never hurt anybody. Yet, some messages are really meant for only ONE reader. The reader YOU (and only YOU) deeply love. CASE IN POINT: “I love you *tag lover*”. Which is OK, except (1) the couple shares the same home, and (2) are literally next to each other. Why couldn’t you just do one of 3 things? Either (1) personally message them on Facebook/Whatsapp, (2) pick up the phone to CALL them, or (3) turn around, look them in the eyes and TELL them. Oh yes, I forgot, we humans are addicted to Facebook likes and cannot wait to see how many likes we get for keeping the spark alive in our relationship! At the end of the day, the declaration becomes more self-serving. For the “likes” instead of making the other person happy.

#2 – The Salesperson

SPOT THEM : Uses social media as a platform to promote and sell. ONLY.

Every now and then you get people who uses social media as a platform to benefit themselves financially. Their role ends there. So basically, silence for month 1, 2, 3 then SELL – selling of apartment. Silence for month 4, 5, 6 then SELL – selling pre-loved items. There are platforms for that if you intend on using social media as a platform STRICTLY for selling. A post as such sends the message that you are using your friends and family to enrich yourself. Frankly speaking, if you intend on promoting your own business, I would suggest a ‘build-up’ to that promotion. Start engaging with other people first. Like their post, share comments, facebook message them to see how they are doing. Whatever it is, DO NOT expect a response if you are only SELLING. You spend a better change selling on Craigslist – you do not have a relationship with those people but at least you know visitors are looking to spend!

#1 – The Cliff Hanger

SPOT THEM : “feeling disappointed”..or..”in hospital”..but you will NEVER know why

Did you manage to guess this? 🙂 If you did, I am sure that would likely mean you have friends that are cliff hangers and I feel sorry for you. It induces worry, it makes you restless. Above all, it makes you MAD. Insanely MAD. You ask if there is anything you can do or what happened and you are met with……wait for it…… *silence*. Your friend is on a drip and posted an image of them looking like shit in the hospital and states that they will “never neglect themselves again because it makes them hurt”. Over 100 comments. Friends and family all concerned and repeatedly asking what happened and you are met with…… SILENCE!!!! Why did you even bother post that if you were never going to entertain questions about it? To find out who your real friends are (presumably only the ones who care enough will call and find out)? Ladies and gentleman, real friends DO NOT need to be tested. And Facebook likes/dislikes/comments do NOT define how worthy you are. Do not use Facebook as a platform to define your self worth. Instead, use it to share experiences you WANT to share and take accountability for your post’s.

All said and done, I do not resent my friends that may fit into the categories above. In fact, the very fact that I managed to PICK UP on it probably means I am guilty of doing them myself! Oddly enough, I have come to simply NOT GET IT (what was I thinking!). And in this day and age, I personally do not feel there is a right way or a wrong way to manage your social media. It really is about being who you are and connecting to the thousands or even million of others who RESONATE with your statuses. Simply put – I am pretty sure some of those “Facebook Types” that annoy me, may actually have a loyal following. That being said – is there a DO and DON’T on social media, specifically Facebook? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

Feature Image Courtesy of Pixabay








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